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This post is probably the hardest I've written yet.  It's ripping my heart and soul open, daring me to be raw and honest, to face my truth and honor my journey.

I started this blog inspired by so many beautiful blogs out there, written by loving mamas to document these precious days as they stretch into years.  I thought "Yes!  I want that, for me, for my girls."  And so I began.  Writing to document our days.  Writing to invite friends and family to peek in on our little corner of the earth.  Writing from the voice of mama, mostly about these two blessed souls I've been given the honor to mother. 

There are many things I've learned in this short year and a half of blogging.  I've learned that a large part of my motivation for posting was out of guilt.  Guilt that I did a pretty crappy job keeping up Milani's baby book.  Guilt that Berkley doesn't even have a baby book.  "But at least they will have this blog".  And that guilt kept me writing things I thought I should write, as a mom documenting her days with her girls, rather than the things I really felt like writing as a woman living her journey.  So the posts would end up a frustrating hodgepodge of pictures I felt like I needed to include, with words to explain the pictures, blended with a hint of what was really on my mind. 

I've also learned that I am more that a mom.  Shocking, I know.  Becoming a mother was one of the best things that has happened to me.  Nothing has brought me more joy, more love, more gratitude for this life I've been blessed with, and I take my role as mama so very seriously.  So seriously that I found I was writing solely from view point of mama.  I was making choices solely from view point of mama.  I was living solely from view point of mama.  I completely lost sight of myself.  I had mom goggles on - always - until it occurred to me that I am more than a mom.  I am Angelina, who just so happens to also be mom, and spouse, and sister, and friend, and photographer, and writer.  That it's totally ok and not selfish to live my life as Angelina.  That I can write using my voice first.  That I'm allowed to make choices as an individual first and foremost.  That, in fact, when I do the things that make me the best Angelina I can be, I will, by default, also be the best mom, and spouse, and friend, and photographer, and writer I can be. 

So, I am going to close this chapter, this writing and posting from a place of motherly obligation and guilt, trusting that my girls' childhoods will still be well documented, knowing that I will still be snapping pictures of my girls and committing the moments of our days to memories I will share with them as they grow older.  Knowing that I can still post and write about them if my heart calls me to.
Instead I will be shifting my focus here to writing with my voice and from my heart, sharing my stories and pictures.  Writing from a place of authenticity and truth.  Freely and without the self imposed guilt.

Excited to see how this unfolds...